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The Wax and the Wane

from STRAYS by Jason Douglass Swearingen

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lyrics

My lips move in time, like trenches worn into the dirt.
Soft whispers rattle, clicking, bordering on thirst.
Try to hide these subtle movements. The night stays less than still.
When they chance to go unnoticed, a taunt beckons me to feel.

I can't begin to know how you wanted this to be.
All I know is nothing ever works that way.
I'm just a man in shifts condemned to kicking at the shame
of the wax and the wane.
I don't want it, but it just won't go away.

The red light flickers on in the corner of my eye.
Scream when I'm alone. When I'm not, I have to hide.
Like the photograph you see, but can never seem to catch,
there's this thing about "unsettled." I can't keep from coming back.

I can't begin to know how you wanted this to be.
All I know is nothing ever works that way.
I'm just a man in shifts condemned to kicking at the shame
of the wax and the wane.
I don't want it, but it just won't go away.

At my darkest, I'm afraid that these moments are my most defining.
Now, I know I have a place. So I know that I can keep on rising.

I found a word to name it, a disposition I'd abide.
Temper all the things you want. You can't help mine.
Just keep one eye on the sunset, and one eye on the gas.
One hand on the mirror, because we're ruined for looking back.

I can't begin to know how you wanted this to be.
All I know is nothing ever works that way.
I'm just a man in shifts condemned to kicking at the shame
of the wax and the wane.

credits

from STRAYS, released June 16, 2015

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Jason Douglass Swearingen Chicago, Illinois

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